Saturday, August 8, 2009

"Fusion" and fear

Copyright ©estandrea 2009

Click on the image to enlarge it

"Fusion" - Watercolor on 300g/m2 / 140 lbs Hahnemühle paper40 x 40 cm / 15,7 x 15, 7 in

I find that Jackson Pollocks quote (see full quote in the side bar) "the painting has a life of it's own.." is so very true. Especially when I work with watercolor I try to let the painting come through, to let the water and the pigments do the work and just be there to give the first impulses and then during the process, only when needed.

This painting will enter a group ad of Daily Painters Abstract Gallery which will appear in the October issue of AAC American Art Collector, and I'm very excited about that. I'm aware of the fact that I have to let go of the fear of not having enough time to paint if I work on my art-marketing, because if I don't communicate people will not have to occasion to see what I'm doing here.

Sure, it's difficult to stay concentrated, focused, to regularly get out a blogpost and talk to the people you like, when life is so demanding and you want to do EVERYTHING today. Wanting to do everything today is a good basis to go nuts.

For example, today I'm packing for holidays. My husband, the cat and I are going to Germany for a month. Oscar the cat went into retreat under the bed as soon as he saw us open our suitcases...he doesn't like travelling that much, but he sure does like my parent's garden:)

Pure holiday. We will visit my parents, help them a bit in the house and the garden, read and walk and ride our bycicles.

Great. But I will have to work too. Prepare an exhibition of a collection of Metroheadsprints which will take place in September in the Paris Bistro-Restaurant TITON. This shouldn't be a problem cause computer work is involved and I'll take my laptop with me and my camera, so I can stay in touch with YOU too.

But, and that's a big BUT, I'd also like to continue my bark paper paintings and big watercolor paintings and NO WAY because can't take the equipment. I only have space for little things ARRRRG. You see? I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about...It's the fear of never being able to do everything which has to be done.

So you have to reason yourself: lean back, take a calm look on what you really need: a notebook, a pad of bigger watercolor paper, a pen and a little watercolor box. That's it. Be simple. Cause at the end you will enjoy to NOT do anything "important", just let things be and doodle along. Which is good for the soul and the creative mind. Then, towards the end of the holidays, you'll begin to make plans again and lots of new ideas AND energy will come flying in your direction:)

OKOKOK. That decided, I'll go and have lunch now, (Oscar the cat already had his lunch, each Saturday and Sunday he is offered a special treat: half a little can of thuna:)

Have a great creative weekend and enjoy every minute of it:)


sukipoet said...

beautiful painting and am glad you were "found". Have a lovely time and I do think it is good to be "forced" to let go of some projects. And relax and enjoy. You sound very driven and that is wonderful but it is also wonderful to give yourself a break. As you say, the times of relaxtion are often the times when creativity is burbling inside us and will emerge new and fresh when vacation is done. Be well, Suki

Cestandrea said...

Suki, thanks so much for your comment and you are right, it's good to be forced to let go sometimes, and best before our bodies let us know that we had too much "drive" too:) I try to be grateful of the things I am able to do and too concentrated on the things I didn't yet have the time or the spirit to do. Thanks for your words which remind me that.

Martine said...

Dear Andrea i'm sitting here smiling. Ofcourse a painting has a life of its own, so far so good, but you have to manage the water and your colors, and you do.
Du bist ein bisschen aufgeladen denke ich, also ist es zeit für urlaub. Geniesse die zeit bei deine eltern und die ruhe im garten.
Alles liebe

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

So much here. I am digesting it all.
congrats on the magazine. We never did get to know what happened at the NY thing.
Bummer about not being able to take much.
What ever happened with all the work you put in your brothers school show in Germany?
Glad you will be in touch.
Sounds like lots of fun.
When is the date of leaving?
OK more things to answer for you. LOL

Corryna Janssen said...

This is a great painting. I love the colours and the composition. This would be great on fabric too. With silk paints or so.
There is always to much to do. I also have more to do than I can. Just go on and enjoy what you are doing. I am sure it will lead you to where you want to be.

Have a nice holiday!

Modern Maendy said...

have fun on your holiday ;) and don't work too hard!!!

Lynn said...

I love reading about your prep for holiday...with cat no less...and art supplies...plans...
You have great things happening in your art world Andrea and must feel very confident and proud. I am proud of you!
I like how you make these things happen: exhibits, sales, etc.
Lovely painting and no fear! Just let it happen!!!!

Kim said...

Oh Andrea, this painting is amazing! I love the way the colors dance and seem to want to explode right off the paper. I am so glad you work with these watercolors, because I think they have so much to teach about art...many lessons I need to learn.

I also have to say you hit some vunerable notes with me talking about not being able to take your studio with you on your trip, yet knowing there will also be plenty to do while you are there. That feeling of always knowing you need to stay with the art and the desire to be doing things which cannot necessairly be done while you are away...I know all of these feelings so well. We live this life in a web where the parts of what we do are linked with all of the other parts we do. (as opposed to other types who live their lives in a linear fashion and when one thing is completed, it has nothing to do with the next thing or anything down the is only what is in front of them). While being able to make those connections is what makes you a great artist, it is also what brings on this feeling. Talking yourself into another 'frame of mind' has been the best way for me to deal with this, too. Not easy, but at least a bit more peaceful.

Enjoy your lovely vacation. I know it will be wonderful once you arrive and settle in for a few weeks. Oscar will be happy, too.


yvette said...

you deserve it....kiss yvette

Mim said...

This is a wonderful painting Andrea - I love the flow of it.
I have gotten to the point to where I pack my art materials first and then my clothes - but often find that the vacation is torn between relaxing with hubby or relaxing in my own head with paint and pens. I try to limit myself to certain things to bring, but can always find a local art store to spend some money at. I do find that it is best to give myself a task to complete; or have a specific goal. This makes it less frustrating to be without certain items.

Anyway - have a wonderful time and congradulations on the metroheads, and magazine and all.

~Babs said...

So much to creat and so little time to do it ALL!
Know it well!
Have a great trip Andrea, congrats on everything, and it's a super painting!
Did Oscar help paint it?

tammy vitale said...

oh, a new header - I have been away too long. I so know this feeling of "and, and, and...." and I am working right this minute or changing that to something more orderly. Even old dogs can learn new tricks! I hope your German holiday is wonderful!

Wurzerl said...

Liebe Andrea,

ein wundervolles Bild! Ich habe früher ausschliesslich auf Hahnemühle aquarelliert und glaube, es ist für diesen Stil, den Du hier inzwischen königlich zelebrierst genau das richtige, denn - es arbeitet mit!
Ich hoffe Du hast eine schöne Zeit zuhause und genügend Muse Deine Ausstellung vorzubereiten.
Ganz ganz lieben Gruss vom Wurzerl, die derzeit auf einer kompletten Baustelle residiert.